Responsible Poker Addiction

Ok, it's Sunday morning, and so far I've spent most of the weekend in a poker room. But it's not like I'm abusing poker like Tobey Magwire or anything. At least I took time out Saturday morning for an OFC workout, and I'll probably workout later today. So often, when people sink into the poker subculture, they also inflate on the casino food that's wheeled up to their seat. It's a nice and convenient break from the monotony of folding hand after hand, as you grind away your life waiting for good starting hands. I've seen a lot of players quickly baloon up from pristinely thin to poker obese, then stay that way for good. It's the inactivity, the food, and the lifestlye. When you spend all your waking hours at the inactivity of sitting down and noshing on casino food, the result is pretty simple. And when you're new to the game, and completely taken over by it, it's the only thing you want to do. Poor Tobey.

I actually had fun in the casino this weekend. On Friday, I saw Anna, played for a few hours, and lost -$29. I had a bad beat (2-outer on the river), but really didn't care about the loss. Then I was bad, and had a Carl's Jr. Famous Star Combo with large fries. That's 1200 calories I didn't need.

The next day I didn't need breakfast before OFC, and I only needed a grilled chicken sandwich for lunch. I played a few hours at the Village Club, eating my sandwich at the $3/$6 Hold'Em table, and won +$140. I went home, did a few things, and took an hour nap before heading off to Denise's for dinner. She made steaks, then I had cookies and chocolates for dessert.

Of course at about 8:30pm, we head off to the dive known as the Village Club, because Denise had never been there, and it's actually closer than the other rooms, and the idea was to get back early that night. When we get there, it was actually slow, and they were really happy to see us, since a short-handed $3/$6 Hold'Em was about to break. So we prop the game for about 30 minutes at the overflow table in the Pai-Gow room, and even the Pai-Gow is dead. But after 9:30pm, it starts picking up, and our must-move game fills up, and builds into a long waiting list with people standing around. Pai-Gow overflows too, and what I figure out is that these people play all night, and sometimes they get a late start. Anyways, I start winning early, but by 1:30am, I'm only up +$105, and decide to just quit and wait for Denise.

It's a little strange to mill around a poker room in the middle of the night for an hour, walking aimlessly, watching games. I'm not the only one standing, I'm just the only one not playing. Make that I'm the only one not playing who has money. What's worse is everyone knows I'm a piker, and that I'm sitting out on winnings. Or at least they know I've decided to stop playing, which is an indirect insult in itself. To make things worse, I gravitate to the other relatively reasonable guys in the room, and we make loud esoteric jokes, like about the floorman Warren, who I learned today actually went to Yeshiva Driving School back east. Seriously. Then Jeff said he got kicked out of Yeshiva too (the real kind), and of course I had to ask, "For what, idolatry?" Then we start talking about Jesuits, Franciscans, and Benedictines. When we get around to Robert Noyce and Eniac, I start walking away, because I sense the conversation is hurting the $200 max and $1000 max No-Limit Holdem games they're in. It's just a matter of time before someone spekas for everyone and yells at us to stop talking. Denise finally finishes, and we get home by about 4am.